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September 17, 2011 / Hannah

Yes-ness

I have dubbed this my Year of Yes. A forgetful, lacking Yes, but also a Yes full fed on the grace that carries me along the wilderness of my short-fallings. This year has been filled with reminders to abide in thanksgiving, and I find this is not coincidental. I am learning that Thankfulness is the open-armed Yes of the Spirit to the grace-full gifts from God.

“The highest form of prayer is to the goodness of God…. God only desires that our soul should cling to Him with all its strength, in particular, that it clings to His goodness. For all of the things our minds can think about God, it is thinking upon His goodness that pleases Him most and brings the most profit to our soul.”

– Julian of Norwich

How easy to say my Yes’s and live such a no-ness to what He has offered me. He saved us not to condemn us. He saved us to live full lives, good stories, bringing us to our true identity. We could live like His children: secure and confident like a child of a King would be; to accept His love, and not to shun it as we do, casting up the memories of our sin before His face beaming love.

Does it gratify our God when I gaze on my sin and cast my face in the mud? What kind of God would He be? What kind of goodness is that? But He does not even remember our sins. The first time I really heard this it shocked me. Not to grovel in lowly wormness? That in itself felt sinful. Yet Truth eased my heart into accepting over and over His total forgiveness. Not only His forgiveness, but His joyful love for me. I always have believed God was good, but this good? Is it presumptuous? Or is it a promise repeated over and over in his word?

I have to remind myself God created humans because He wanted to pour His love and grace and abundance on them. It’s His idea. He did not create I or they to lord with scowling eyes and angry heart. His desire for us is that we would realize this, and realize it fully. His goodness. How His heart yearns for our halting and hesitant Yes to His goodness, His gifts of new-ness.

And how say Yes to joy? “I will enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise” there is the key. Praise unlocks the gate, thanksgiving opens it. And when the gate has sprung open all the goodness of God will flow in freely.

Yes to who He sees when He looks at me. A beautiful, flawless one. A precious one. Powerful in the authority of His kingdom. Filled with the freedom of grace. Lit with Joy. Alive like one who is beloved.

When we say Yes to Him we say Yes to the raw vulnerability of trust. We seek with thanksgiving, expecting good things (the scariest part of all… to expect!), truly believing He really is that good.

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