I have always loved mornings, especially good mornings, when you have time instead of time having you. It’s like becoming reacquainted with stillness. Not sitting in one position stillness, but the peace in a world that is remembering to breathe and let go of the day before it begins.
It was an early morning that I first remember meeting the Joy, romance inherent in the earth that CS Lewis writes of. I must’ve been pretty young, we were living in New Jersey at the time, and I woke up earlier than usual, earlier than anyone in the house (besides my dad who was always up first). What I remember is standing at our backdoor, looking out onto the cool, wet, misty stillness hanging in the air around the trees and above the grass,the early birds singing their morning song, and the ache that comes with entering a moment like that yet knowing it’s still outside of you. It’s like eavesdropping on the love song of the earth in an intimate moment with her Maker.
I need my own love song. I have realized, over the last year, that though I have come to know the joy of feeling my Lord’s presence physically on my body, it is not enough. It is not the fullness of His heart, and until I know His heart my song will be incomplete.
The Word says that the Holy Spirit searches the depths of the heart of God, and I know that the same Spirit is in me, and that my spirit knows Him… but I have yet to really go with Him on an adventure into the wild and unknown places in that vast heart. I feel like Eowyn, who could not be left behind when her uncle (the Holy Spirit) was going off to war. I’m no longer willing to be left at home. I must come along. I don’t know what I will find there; that His heart is deep and overwhelming and full of many things I cannot imagine, but I need to search it out. My song will celebrate those “wilderness places” which are so full of beauty, truth, and are longing to be discovered. The wildness of His mercy, the fury of His love.
He is my greatest adventure.