Went out to the lake today, we found a great cove where the water is so clear it has that aqua marine caribbean look, bordered by mountains, the feet of which branch into the waters. Mm.
We are powerful people.

Isn’t it fascinating that the world is full of people with free will? Every time we come into contact with another being we get to experience their choices, what they choose to do with their experience and personality. They could do anything. You just never know what those beings are capable of dong or being and it’s amazing.

Sometimes they do the unexpected, like ask if you’re going to use the ice at the bottom of the venti iced coffee you just finished.”No, no I don’t think I need that.” ”Oh, well, would you mind if I used it? Gotta cool down this gatorade.” ”Not at all, help yourself.”

Tonight I went for a drive with a friend, just to go. We ended up in a small town of 587 people, saw the cafe/grocery store and pulled up as an old man was coming out. we asked if they were closed and he offered to let us in for an ice cream. The place served as the town’s library, cafe, grocery store, the meeting place of the local historical club, and karaoke joint. The old man was the owner. He held an open magazine in his hand and pointed to a picture of a B29 bomber (or something like that) and said, “You guys ever get a chance to take a ride in a -insert name of plane here- you take it.” He proceeded to talk to us for a while, mostly about his wife, whose brother is the drummer in The Police. Her father was head of the CIA, and she has written a few books and produced movies.

He loved to talk about his wife. Apparently they met at the cafe, which they now own. He said she was out of town, but invited us back to meet her. He said she loves to correct the english of the locals, and that they wanted to make the little cafe/store a place for the youth to hang out, instead of doing drugs and making a ruckus. He flies planes, and said he was buying one soon. He offered us free rides, and said he wanted to teach the kids around how to fly. He told how he lost 3 million dollars in 10 days. How he wanted to buy a little cafe in another town that had belonged to his family, and he wanted to get it back in.

You never know who you’re going to meet, what they’ve done, and what story they’re living.

Where I belong.

Um, Where do I belong? Will I settle down here? With these people? With this job?

In the back of my mind I’m in meadows and mountains.

And partly, I think I struggle with the reality of my own limitations. I learn this when I wake up with sore knees from too far runs, when I find my shoulders creeping up towards my neck, when I come home tired-too tired-much. too tired.

You see I’d like to think, to believe, I set my own limits. And not! because I have too, becaauuse it’s my choice. My boundaries. I am in CONTROL. control. Of my body-mind-spirit- .

Yet always am I faced with the truth — I do not choose my stopping places. They have chosen me. And if I do not abide by these pre-written laws dictating the parameters of my abilities I will StOPcrASh eyes shut tight and I know without looking it’s a Wall.

In the middle of my mind there’s a wall.

But, don’t worry, I’ve got a pole. A vaulting pole.

A pole with which to vault that wall. What is a vault? A safe place to store things, valuable things. I use this valuable space for vaulting walls that I built, or maybe I didn’t and maybe probably they shouldn’t be there. Anyway there they are, but I must use my last or first amount of strength to mount

so

high.

The fun part is a the top, flying {gracefully} o’er the wall at the edge of my handy pole I reach up and with tips of fingers stroke the sky blue.

A blue that reminds me of my dreams,

something you can’t quite remember except in how you feel when you think about it.

Just.beyond.

Like God. Like how I feel Him.

Let go! of the mental madness that is the trying to comprehend God, and

it works. Peace wraps me up and JOY ~swells~ surgesmeltingintosmilesintolaughs. Sigh, of peace. Soul at rest. Tightness that likes to grip my mind, my heart, faded.

Spirit at home. This is where I belong. The wall is behind me, maybe it’s gone, maybe I can walk through it. I only know the longer I stay here, the smaller it becomes.

It’s been a particularly hard week of facing lots of things including some deep fears, so this is good (hard!) encouragement right now. Even my moment to moment, hour by hour plans are important when it comes to feeding hope, even if it means taking that hour to sit and grieve and receive Peace.

The Lord will fight for you, you have only to be still. – exodus 14:14

“[God is calling us to] a new partnering with Him, where we become experts in rest as we discern the stressors and clutter in our lives and turn our focus instead toward Him, toward adoring Him. Where the Body of Christ has been operating out of assignment, out of striving, stress and unbelief, the Lord is coming to show us His more excellent way, the way of operating in rest and relationship, of seeing His solutions from above the clouds with Him.

In Exodus 33:15 Moses said to God, ”If Your presence does not go with us, do not lead us up from here.” At the core of the New Operating System is this valuing of the presence of God above all else.

The New Operating System of Rest

God is calling us into this New Operating System that moves out of rest in His presence – an operating system that He began to explain to me in a dream through a pile of leaves. The dream came at a time when years of pushing hard in life and ministry had left my body and soul running low. In the midst of this time, as I was looking for a new way forward, God brought to me the beginning of the answer in the form of a dream, a dream that began with 10 piles of leaves.

In the dream, as I am walking toward a villa in Germany, I encounter a woman who instructs me to rake up the leaves in her yard into 10 piles. So I start to try to comply with her instructions, but the wind is blowing and I am running in too many directions at once, trying to rake up and gather the leaves, feeling confused and exhausted. The Lord showed me that these 10 piles of leaves represented present needs and issues facing the Body of Christ, which are real, but need to be left to God.

In the dream there was too much to do, too many directions to go in. I was feeling increasingly exhausted, but I wasn’t getting anywhere. Just then a woman with blonde hair and glasses, from the house next door, came up to me, grabbed my face, and said, “One focus, not ten,” telling me to work on raking up ONE pile of leaves instead of the ten. “One focus on His eyes,” she said, and as I raked the remaining leaves and followed her instruction, I did it with rest and ease.

One Focus: His Presence

When I shared this dream about the woman with blond hair and glasses to a good friend, he said to me, “I know the place and the woman.”

A few months later, I went to the wellness center that he had spoken of in Germany. I went to enter in to this New Hope-Filled Operating System based in rest and to restore my body and soul. When I arrived there, I met the woman with the blonde hair and glasses from the dream. She was helping to run the wellness center and she spoke to me in the same way with the same words she had spoken to me in the dream. “One focus,” she said over and over again in the thirty days that I was there. “One focus moving out of a restful place of hope where ministry comes out of overflow, not residue.”

During my time there, God continued to unveil this New Operating System, based in rest, based in one pile of leaves, one focus in Him, that He wants us to function from in the days to come. This one focus is an Ephesians 4:4 call to the Body of Christ. Ephesians 4:4-6 says, ”There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. ONE FOCUS IN HIM.

“These are the instructions regarding the different kinds of peace offerings that may be presented to the LORD.

If you present your peace offering as an expression of thanksgiving, the usual animal sacrifice must be accompanied by various kinds of bread made without yeast—thin cakes mixed with olive oil, wafers spread with oil, and cakes made of choice flour mixed with olive oil. This peace offering of thanksgiving must also be accompanied by loaves of bread made with yeast. One of each kind of bread must be presented as a gift to the LORD.”

Three types of bread. Thin crackers. The Israelites made unleavened bread to remind them of the hard times in Egypt, when they made the bread to sustain them as they fled captivity. Even the thinnest thanks can sustain us in hard times and lead us out of captivity.

Wafers. After the escape we become able to give a greater thanks. This becomes the cakes. The rich, satisfying type of thanksgiving that comes out of a celebration of fullness.

And all thee were to be offered drenched in oil. The oil of Holy Spirit goodness. Mmm. He gives me strength to offer the crackers and Joy to give the cake.

And all of this amounts to Peace.

“The meat of the peace offering of thanksgiving must be eaten on the same day it is offered. None of it may be saved for the next morning.” – Lev 7:15

Enjoy the things that come to you out of Thanksgiving. I heard a story once about a child who had come out of a poverty situation. His foster parents began to find bits of food stashed about his room, things from dinners that he’d hidden away. Saving it because his life had been filled with uncertainty. When would there be food again?

I think God made that command to symbolize the trust that we can have in Him to continue to provide for us. We give thanks and enjoy what we have without trying to save it up for tomorrow.

How often I have felt myself trying to do that with Joy and Peace.

There is more than enough for tomorrow! Woohoo! I will enjoy and thank Him for what I have today, what I had yesterday, and I know that He is a good Father of more-than-enough. Who in a royal court is hungry?

I came down with mono a couple weeks ago, and now have the problem of resting when I don’t necessarily feel tired. My mind and body say “Go Go Go!” yet wisdom tells me to pause and delve into the depths of peaceful rest. Here’s what I’ve learned in the last week or two.

1. God created the world and everything on it. God rested. God is God, and I’m pretty sure He’s never been tired (except maybe as Jesus after a good day’s teaching). But He rested. If God rests when He’s not tired, there must be something more to it than recuperation. What I want to know: How exactly did God spend the first Sabbath? Surveying His new work with pleasure? What does God do when He rests? Does He rest still?

2. Not all rest is created equal. For example, Pinterest and design blogs do not equate to rest. Rest is meant to be food for the soul, mind, body, spirit. It sustains the run and savors the fruit of life’s labors.

3. Rest requires some prep time. I cannot rest in a cluttered and dirty space. When I have a night in, before popping in a movie or sitting down with a book I clean to my heart’s content (and yes, I enjoy it). In a season of rest, it can be good to declutter your mind by turning off the white noise. Fast from music, media, etc. If your work interferes with your thought life like it can mine, make lists in one place of all the To Do’s, get done with the urgent items, and let it be until you’re on work time again.

4. There are ways to engage in a more restful lifestyle. Weed out some anxiety that may appear in the form of critical or fearful people. Make Not To Do lists. Stick with them. Figure out what you love, what things in your life are important to you and what brings you life, then get rid of the rest so that you can fully engage in your life. This is your story, and you are living it now. Make it the one you want.

5. A true rest is the fruit of thankfulness which comes with the bonus of Joy. Practice practice practice. When encountering a frustration (especially in the form of another person), say a mental thank you for something you appreciate in them. When feeling hopeless, give thanks. When feeling critical, give thanks. When you’re happy, give thanks.

6. Rest is where love lives. Rest was created for humanity to enjoy. The Sabbath was created for man, and not man for the Sabbath.